As I have worked through the years with issues of change and loss, I have come to understand that there is a direct relationship between conflict and loss.  Conflict between people is almost always about someone losing something.  When conflict occurs in organizations, some in the group will lose something that matters even as others may gain something that they feel is more important.  The inability to grieve loss contributes to the intensifying of the conflict.  If you would like more on this topic, I have just published a book with my colleague and friend, Bernie Lyon.  It is called, "How to Lead in Church Conflict: Healing Ungrieved Loss" (Nashville: Abingdon, 2012.)  It is available at Abingdon Press or on  In the book we explore a psycho-dynamic perspective on group life and how a leader's ability to be present with a "heart of flesh" can help a group grieve losses and open themselves to new ways of living life together.