You hear it whenever someone doesn't know what else to say. "Time heals all wounds." I am not sure this is true.

My experience indicates that some wounds cut deep. The loss of someone who is signfiicant in your life creates a deep canyon in the heart of your soul. While time may ease the pain, the scar will always be there.

What troubles me about this word that people speak to each other is that it has a passive implication. One could gather from this statement that time will do the work and that all we have to do is wait for it to work.

Grieving loss is not a passive exercise. It is really hard work. And it is an opportunity. For the tearing away of part of your life creates an opportunity for you to discover more about yourself. To simply wait for time to heal causes you to miss the opportunity to learn more about your own life.

In my book, "Lose, Love, Live: The Spiritual Gifts of Loss and Change" I offer an active guide for persons to discover more of their life as they work through loss. Grieving (learning to live again in the absence of someone or something significant) is an occasion to discover a fuller and deeper understanding of oneself. It creates multiple opportuntities for growth and change.

Time, coupled with the work of self discovery, can contribute to healing. But, don't expect time to do all the work.