Sometimes it takes a while to figure out how to live in a painful situation. Katrina Kenison had a groin injury. She was a daily runner and when this happened to her, she could not run. It not only effected her physical health, but her emotional and psychological health. She taught yoga but the injury kept her from sitting positions that helped her center and know the peace she desired. She hurt whenever she did little things like dressing herself or getting in and out of her car.
Then one day when she went out to try to walk, she stopped. She tightened up in anger when the pain came, but then she stopped herself and said, "soften, soften, soften." And then taking very small steps very slowly, she began to relax. Her muscles eased some. She said, For weeks, I realized, I’d been angry. Perhaps moving forward really meant moving beyond that impotent, helpless anger and surrendering instead to everything I couldn’t fix or control. I’d been annoyed at my body for letting me down; why not be grateful to it for still holding me up? I’d been disappointed by my failure to cope with grace; why not acknowledge that I’d done the best I could? I’d been secretly disgusted at myself for not being invincible; why not yield at last to my own tender humanness?
I can identify with this experience. When I am ill or injured, I am not much fun to be around. I get angry at my limitations. I get angry at myself for not being able to resist the illness. After reading this blog, I realize that my anger probably doesn't do much to expedite healing. In fact, it may lock pain in place and not allow the healing flow of grace to move through by body.
Katrina has learned through this experience that she does better when she allows her anger to dissolve in a pool of gratitude. She has been made aware that she will not always be able to do what she wants but is grateful that her body holds her up now.
Gratitude isn't necessarily a feeling. Sometimes it is a decision. Sometimes it is looking not at the injury or the limitation, but at all the things that we can still do and being thankful.
To read Katrina's blog, copy this link and put in your browser: http://www.katrinakenison.com/2014/02/27/coping-injury/