So many things in life are not a matter of answers to questions. Deb and I share life together. We are individuals who feel deeply and see life from perspectives that have been shaped by decades of living—each with our own histories.
As we navigate the exigencies of love, relationships, family, work, play, we come up against conundrums. We are not always clear how to move forward. So, we stop, sit and take time to talk. We take time to share our individual insights. We explore why each of us feels the way we do.
The discussion inevitably moves to the question, “With this being the reality, how do we move forward?” Occasionally there is a clear cut answer. More frequently, the way forward is unclear. We don’t come up with an answer that sums up the problem and reveals a clear solution.
And sometimes we discover that the conversation itself was helpful. It may have taken some of the edge off the issue. We discover that each of us shares some perspectives in common, and therefore we are not alone. We also find we have some different perspectives. But, because we love and respect each other, we can live with the differences and appreciate the gifts that each offers to our life together.
In his poem A Servant to Servants, Robert Frost has this line: “The best way out is always through.” When we are tempted to think that the way out of our problem is to avoid it, it is helpful to remember this poetic directive. By facing the issue, ourselves and each other in loving regard, we don’t necessarily discover answers—but we discover each other and in that we find our way into our future together.