Every adult I know has one. I know no one who does not have a heart peppered with scars. Hearts who love are hearts that are broken—by death, disappointment, divorce, betrayal, misunderstanding, denied dreams. Everyone who has loved has felt deep wounds in the losses that are part of our changing lives.

So, this means that what we have to give each other is love by a broken heart. We are imperfect and scarred. Parts of our heart are not working as generously as other parts. Some of what we have to give is distorted by wounds that have not yet healed. We dare to give love to each other knowing that we do not have our whole heart engaged. The scars on our hearts often hide pain that still lies below the surface and so we give love tinged with pain.

And we give this broken, scarred love to others who have similar wounds. We are all seeking to be loved with a purity that will fill us up and most of the time others do not have that capacity. Their wounds caution them to hold back, to not give it all, as they try to love without opening themselves to another heart-break. So, we are all long for love without limits from hearts that are limited by scars.

So, since we all are wounded and scarred, maybe we can learn to receive the love that is given from courageous souls who know what it means to be broken. And maybe knowing this can ignite our courage to dare to love another, knowing that we too will disappoint even as we have been disappointed. And knowing this, maybe rather than judging the love of another, we can learn to cherish it , as broken as it is, as a life-giving gift.