In a recent conversation with my daughter I discovered one of the losses that many are experiencing in this time of COVID 19. She talked about a feeling of let-down after Easter. In this time when so much of what is familiar about holidays has been stolen from us, she tried to keep some pattern. Got a ham. Cooked a special brunch. Hid Easter eggs. Church on line. A remnant of normal.
But then the day after. A let down. And then, “What do we have to look forward to? School activities for her boys? Graduation? Church Camp? Family vacations? Who knows?”
In this conversation I was reminded of a sermon I heard almost 60 years ago in a chapel service in college. The speaker (Fred Craddock) told us college students to never surprise our parents by going home unannounced. He told us that by doing so we rob our parents of one of the greatest joys in life, “Anticipation of your coming home.”
And that is one of the losses in this crisis: anticipation. We find so much joy in life planning ahead and then looking forward to the forthcoming event. We make a date for next week and then enjoy looking forward to it. We plan a trip and then anticipate it. So much of the joy of our lives is anticipation.
But right now, we can’t fill that empty future with plans. There are too many uncertainties. We don’t know when it will be safe to hug people, to shake hands, to gather in groups, to go to work, to go to church. And not only do we not know when, we don’t know how this will happen. There are projections, but we don’t know for sure if immunity follows for those who have had the virus or what medicines might treat it. We don’t know when a vaccine will come online.
So, instead of filling the future with plans and exciting celebrations to look forward to, we fill that empty space with troubling scenarios that cause fear and anxiety. It is the absence of these anticipated pleasures that leaves space for feared threats. For a while we have to live with the loss of longer term plans. We feel sad, disappointed, empty, let down.
In the absence of anticipation that brings us so much joy in life, maybe we can make plans for each day instead of several months down the road. We can plan to call a couple of friends today. Plan to do a video chat with family members who are far away. And maybe, rather than surprising others with a call, set an appointment with them. Put it on both calendars so that you can each look forward to it. One family I know plans movie nights with different members making their choice for all to watch. Another mother is planning to cook a dinner with her young daughter.
We don’t have to live entirely without anticipated pleasure. We can plan enjoyable activities for which we can look forward. That way we can fill the empty future with some joyful anticipation rather than just empty dread.