#FWBL

There is a new TV show that has piqued my interest. It is #FWBL. It stands for Friends with Better Lives.  It is a comedy that centers around six friends who each think the other has a better life. This new show is not really new at all--it is simply a recurring show that plagues human life. We call it envy.

Envy is a discontentment that we feel when we look at others lives or possessions and desire to have what they have. It is driven by our perception of other's lives as having qualities that we find lacking in our own lives. We measure our reality according to our perception of the reality of another and focus on what we lack compared to the other. Envy focuses on only one part of who the other fully is. 

In the history of the church, this is one of the seven deadly sins. That is, it is something that alienates us from God and neighbor.  Ancient church theologian Thomas Acquinas says that envy is the opposite of charity. "Charity rejoices in our neighbor's good, while envy grieves over it." Charity, or love is that which is of God and when we love, we connect with the holy one. To look at what another has and to wish you had it instead of their having it is to separate yourself from those bonding experiences that love helps create.

And, it often results in blinding us to the gifts of life that we do have. Our perception of others lives is limited to what we can see and what we assume is happening. Our experience of our own lives is more complex and confusing and therefore may look like it not as good.  But, the reality is that most people live confusing and conflicted lives.  Most people are a jumble of delight and pain, joy and suffering.  Most people have self-doubt and deep fear and anxiety that tends to rob them of their happiness and contentment.

When we see others in a more realistic life, we can live with more empathy. We can see that, while they have somethings that we might wish we have, they also live with the same frustrations and fears that often plague our lives.  When we see that, love, compassion, charity are more likely to be our response. When that happens, we discover the presence of God who is loving connection.

SCATTERED STONES OF SEPARATION

[This post is the third in a series of devotions on forgiveness that I first published last year in a leaders’ devotional book, "Disciplines 2013" from The Upper Room. This is based on a reading found in Luke 15:20-21 and Psalm 32:3-5]

In the midst of conflict between family members, the changes that offend and alienate, and the losses of innocence and identity that result from those things, certain longings and actions follow.  The son who had left home, insulted his father and spoiled the family plans for the future, came to his senses.  He discovered that his longing for an independent and individualistic future was not as powerful as his longing for home and relationships with those who love and sustain.  In the absence of home, he discovered a hope for home.

Out of his loss and emptiness, he went to his father and confessed that he had made a mistake. He named the losses that he and his family suffered. In humility he realized that he could not come back into the family as he was.  He was not worthy.

But in confessing, an interesting thing occurred.  He discovered that the onerous burden that he and his family experienced was lifted. His father had been holding in his heart a pool of grace for his son. The family would never be the same.  The future would always be shaped by the experiences of the past.  He was welcomed back as a son, but no one would be the same.  Grace and forgiveness does not restore life as it was. It simply reconnects the wounded and scarred so that there is a chance to build something new.  

God’s agenda is a future where shalom is a reality.  His desire is for communities to be free from the power of the past to control their future so that the future might be rebuilt out of the scattered stones of separation and alienation.  Psalmists sing of the burden that is lifted when the heart confesses.  How have you contributed to God’s agenda in creating a heart of grace that reformation might take place?

Grant us the courage to confess, O God, and open ourselves to reconnection.