Sometimes it is bigger than words. Our thoughts can’t wrap themselves around it. Complexity and size defy words. When comprehension fails, we feel. Our feelings rise up and envelope us. And sometimes when words fail, tears fall and/or laughter erupts. During this pandemic I have found myself on the edge. Being boxed in physically tends to box in my emotions. And when I least expect it tears rim my eyes or laughter chuckles in my throat. My body must find release.
The pain of loss is real. It is often visceral. We can’t explain it all. Profound loss often leaves us wordless. Afraid. The uncertainty of the world around us collides with the raw, ragged edges of our emotions. The mind struggles to know even as the emotions of fear, loss, loneliness, and helplessness seek strength to sustain. Even as we seek information to know what to do about the threat of the virus we struggle to know how to manage the emotional storm inside our souls.
And it isn’t only feelings for ourselves and those we know and love that get hooked in this situation. We have empathy and feel for thousands we don’t know. Sometimes the news is more than the mind can take in. The heart is overloaded and overflows in tears.
This is all part of the hard work of grieving the loss of the world we once knew. Learning to live in the absence of people and things we have come to trust is one of the most exhausting things that we do. In this situation of pandemic we find that there are multiple losses. Our loss of a sense of safety, loss of human contact, loss of confidence in systems to save us, loss of jobs, loss of people we love, loss a clear way forward, can overwhelm our emotional systems.
During these hard times, it is important to be patient with yourself. Feel and name the emotions. Honor your heart. Take time to rest. Nourish your soul on food that comforts and sustains. Share sadness and fear with others. You are not alone. We are all vulnerable. That is the truth of being human. Letting tears and laughter flow can release the physical pressure you feel in the pit of your stomach. Don’t get absorbed in collecting data. Rest from information and allow yourself to be swallowed by music or nature. Let the smaller world of the here-and-now gently hold you and ground you.