TIRED?

Sometimes we think that a break from our routine would give us a chance to rest and catch up on our sleep. All we need is an extra day after the weekend—or maybe a snow day where we can sleep in, stay in our pajamas all day and just read.

We may be projecting these expectations onto the changes we have had to endure as we are now a few weeks into the COVID 19 crisis. We now have those days. One after another. And strangely enough, we don’t necessarily feel rejuvenated. Some feel more tired than they did when they were in their routine.

I think this may be because the process of grieving loss is fraught with decisions about what to do now. When we have lost something significant we have to live without its orientating presence in our lives. If we are accustomed to spending 40 or 50 hours a week focused on work or school we have developed routines. Routines require less thought. We don’t have to make as many decisions.

But when we are learning to live without important realities in our lives, we have to make more decisions. And the word, decide means “to cut off.” Every choice for one actions cuts off other options that we cannot accomplish. When we cut off an options, we have to learn to live without them. Making decisions all day long in the absence of the routine that we have come to count on takes a lot of energy.

And this is especially an issue in this time of uncertainty. We have continually shifting input from experts about what might be the best decision. Everyone is trying to figure out the best way forward. We don’t know when or if “normal” as we have known it will return. Making our decisions in this context is even more exhausting than in other losses where the world around us hasn’t changed that much.

That may be why we are more tired in this time than we are under normal circumstances of routine work. Grieving the loss of the world the way it was requires much more energy in making decisions. So, you may be using much more energy than you realize.

So, take it easy on yourself. If and when can, rest. Develop routines in the present situation what you can count on. In so far as possible, sleep at the times that are normal. Expand your time of playing or listening to music. Allow a blooming flower to consume you. Savor the cup of tea. Your longterm health is important for your future.