HATE

I am reading "Love" by Toni Morrison.  I came across a scene where Bill Cosey has died and the Cosey girls fought over his coffin.  "Standing there, one to the right, one to the left, of Bill Cosey's casket, their faces, as different as honey from soot, looked identical.  Hate does that.  Burns off everything but itself, so whatever your grievance is, your face looks just like your enemy's." (34)
Hate has a way of sucking all the life out of those who share it.  The unique gifts of insight and caring that make us who we are disappears and the rigid stare of hate glares from each face.  Thus, hate replicates itself. When we look into the face of others, we see mirrored back our own stony passion.
Something to ponder.

 

CHURCH GROWTH AND GRIEF

This came from a friend. I find that I disagree with the premise of Mr. Anderson. Grief is not killing the church--our fear of grieving is killing the church. My colleague Bernie Lyon and I will publish a book in April, 2012 "How to Lead in Church Conflict: Healing Ungrieved Loss" (Abingdon) and in that book we define grieving as "learning to live again in the absence of someone or something significant." Conflict over the future is grounded in our fear of what we will lose in the future. Our assumption is that grieving well is the way to move forward toward the world that God is creating.  Churches who embrace the future are ones that are able to name their losses and pain, express their anger over the loss of their identity, remember well enough that the past is memorialized and human, confess their guilt and shame and embrace the forgiving grace of God that frees them to move forward.  Then grateful hearts are freed to imagine and play with new  possibilities and the church can not only vision a new future but can access the energy to move toward it.  The future is grounded in the soil of the past and grieving is the way churches discover the germinating seeds that will become their future.  Our advice is therefore that congregations grieve their losses as a way of welcoming the future.

How do you think grief effects the vitality of church growth? 

 http://www.churchleadership.com/leadingideas/leaddocs/2011/110817_article.html
   

SIGNPOSTS

Hiking in the woods, 10 degrees cooler than it has been for a month--30 % less moisture in the air.  I was hiking more erect, without the weight of the heat and humidity.  It felt more alive, noticing the morning light tickling the trees, listening to the little-bit-tired and stressed leaves scrathing each other.  Then, out of the corner of my eye, a large yellow maple leaf fluttered to the ground.  I glanced up and here and there saw a few more leaves turning brown and yellow.  Still August, but all the signs are there--shorter days and the slightly turning leaves--whispers of what is to come.  

This is the way most change in life occurs--with subtle and hard to notice shifts in the wind or the color.  We hardly notice them till we slow down and look more carefully, listen more closely, taste more fully.  Then we see the change.  Then we see the way some things are fading, making room for new experiences.  These subtle signs of change are gifts when they are noticed--occasions to look back at the summer and savor the gifts--the long and lazy days, the vine-ripe red tomatoes, the herbs from the garden, the cold beer after a hot lawn mow.  Gifts of the warm days of summer.  And this time of change is also a time to anticipate--to imagine the cooler nights and the clearer days, the emerging colors of autumn's decay, the deck parties and fires in the fire-pit.  On the cusp we celebrate memory and hope, sentimentality and imagination.  

What a gift--the slowing down and the noticing--the recalling and the dreaming.  Loss is not always easy, but sometimes it opens us up to  what we have received and what we look forward to.  When we grieve well we notice the signs and we can open ourselves to the new that is emerging.

THE GIFT OF TREES

Hiking the other day--surrounded by hundreds of trees--some 50-75-100 years old.  Realized how grateful I am for trees.  They dig deeper daily into the soil, gripping it and holding it, preventing erosion, facilitating stability.  Branches become homes for birds, space for nests.  Leaves hang on, clapping in the wind.  They shade the animals and an occasional human kind.  Later they lose their green, fade to gold and brown, let go and litter the land, dying and decaying, providing nourishment for the future.  And at their very core they store the stories of the forest--the rain and snow is recorded, the drought and the stress is captured, ring after ring the story of the life of the tree and the life of the woods is stored.  (Probably why the cracking and popping when the wood is finally cut and burned in the fire place--stories being sung in the night, released by the fire.)  Trees don't race around chasing life. They just absorb the rain and sun, filtering the air and cleaning it for breathing creatures. Making life better for all.  I am grateful for the gift of trees.

WHERE THE FUTURE COMES TO AUDITION

Esquire magazine’s article on Mayor Bloomberg indicated that a previous mayor said of his city, “New York is where the future comes to audition.” (Esquire, Feb 2011, (90).
2 January 1986, New York (NY) Times, “Text of the Address Delivered by Mayor Koch at His Third Inaugural,” pg. B5:  says “New York is the place where the future comes to rehearse.”
These quotes got me to thinking, “Where does the future come to audition or rehearse when we retire?”  “How do we find a place to audition the new self that we are becoming?  When we get a glimpse of what that new self might be, where do we go to rehearse the role that we are becoming?”
When we were young, those of us who were fortunate enough to go to university went there to audition and rehearse the new self that we were becoming.  But, where do we go to do that when we are late in life and changing our way of interacting with the world?
I don't know the answer but am working on it.  Any ideas?