CHURCH GROWTH AND GRIEF
This came from a friend. I find that I disagree with the premise of Mr. Anderson. Grief is not killing the church--our fear of grieving is killing the church. My colleague Bernie Lyon and I will publish a book in April, 2012 "How to Lead in Church Conflict: Healing Ungrieved Loss" (Abingdon) and in that book we define grieving as "learning to live again in the absence of someone or something significant." Conflict over the future is grounded in our fear of what we will lose in the future. Our assumption is that grieving well is the way to move forward toward the world that God is creating. Churches who embrace the future are ones that are able to name their losses and pain, express their anger over the loss of their identity, remember well enough that the past is memorialized and human, confess their guilt and shame and embrace the forgiving grace of God that frees them to move forward. Then grateful hearts are freed to imagine and play with new possibilities and the church can not only vision a new future but can access the energy to move toward it. The future is grounded in the soil of the past and grieving is the way churches discover the germinating seeds that will become their future. Our advice is therefore that congregations grieve their losses as a way of welcoming the future.
How do you think grief effects the vitality of church growth?
http://www.churchleadership.com/leadingideas/leaddocs/2011/110817_article.html
SIGNPOSTS
Hiking in the woods, 10 degrees cooler than it has been for a month--30 % less moisture in the air. I was hiking more erect, without the weight of the heat and humidity. It felt more alive, noticing the morning light tickling the trees, listening to the little-bit-tired and stressed leaves scrathing each other. Then, out of the corner of my eye, a large yellow maple leaf fluttered to the ground. I glanced up and here and there saw a few more leaves turning brown and yellow. Still August, but all the signs are there--shorter days and the slightly turning leaves--whispers of what is to come.
This is the way most change in life occurs--with subtle and hard to notice shifts in the wind or the color. We hardly notice them till we slow down and look more carefully, listen more closely, taste more fully. Then we see the change. Then we see the way some things are fading, making room for new experiences. These subtle signs of change are gifts when they are noticed--occasions to look back at the summer and savor the gifts--the long and lazy days, the vine-ripe red tomatoes, the herbs from the garden, the cold beer after a hot lawn mow. Gifts of the warm days of summer. And this time of change is also a time to anticipate--to imagine the cooler nights and the clearer days, the emerging colors of autumn's decay, the deck parties and fires in the fire-pit. On the cusp we celebrate memory and hope, sentimentality and imagination.
What a gift--the slowing down and the noticing--the recalling and the dreaming. Loss is not always easy, but sometimes it opens us up to what we have received and what we look forward to. When we grieve well we notice the signs and we can open ourselves to the new that is emerging.